A lil over 5 months ago my husband & I (just celebrated 32 yrs married, 33 together, 5 kids) got into an argument & something I thought had happened around our 10 year I brought up again. It had been starting to bother me off & on for the last couple of years. He had a 1 night stand with his ex before me. She was his 1st & they were together for about 2 years. She left him at the fair. So 1 year we got free tickets, he didn't want to go at all but I grew up with good memories with my dad at the fair & wanted our kids to experience it. Well, she ran into him, he didn't even recognize her & she had to tell him who she was. Come to find out she threw her phone # at him on the ride, I was in a different cart on the same ride, so didn't even see it or I would've went to jail. Anyhow, it threw his head into a spin. He attempted to contact her dad to talk to him, he says in hopes he could explain what the odds were that that would happen. Well dad never got the message but she did & called him. They started a phone thing, only talking, he tried to talk to her about how he treated her & similarities of the bad ways he treated me. We're self employed & 1 night he was staying out to get some work done over night, which he did very often. A lot of details are foggy & timelines cause it was about 22 years ago. Well she showed up where he was, he insists he never told her where he was or invited her to visit him. He said he was just about asleep when she showed up, scared the poop out of him walking up in the dark. But then they went to get something to eat, she had gotten a motel room, so they went back to it & then IT happened. Shortly after I knew they were talking on the phone, I accused him of cheating, he promised me all they had done was rehash their past & hug & kiss. He was my 1st & I loved him with all of me. The way he lived me I never worried about him betraying me in that way, so I chose to believe him. Every once in a while it would fester up & I would ask. He would say no. But this last time when he finally confessed, I used the F word. He said he was afraid he would lose me if I knew the truth. He always wanted to tell me but then something would happen on timing & he couldn't do it. I'm staying, because we've got 5 kids, a grand kid, & 33 years of history. I love this man with all my heart & I did try to cheat on him in hopes I would love him less & it wouldn't hurt as bad but could never go through with it. He has disclosed to me all that he remembers & even more that has come back to his remembrance, but timeline is still very foggy, it was a long time ago. I've told him about what I tried. We're healing, he said it was just the once & he felt remorse immediately. Another woman tried to get him & he quickly shut it down a couple years later. I believe him. Anyhow, he's trying to figure out how & why he could've done that to me & is truly trying to love me the way I deserve. I've forgiven him, but at the root, my heart still hurts so very bad at the thought of them together, I can't get it out of my head. Also the surrealness that I'm in a recurring nightmare & it didn't really happen.
[This message edited by Feelingweak41 at 7:08 PM, Tuesday, October 6th]
