SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

My WW and I continue to struggle to connect, and reconciliation (after 6 months) is failing. Our marriage counselor gave up on us and said we should find someone new.

This sets the stage for the new symbol of my marriage.

My wife and I decided we would try to grow apple trees in our backyard. We went to the store and found my favorite variety (Honey Crisp) and planted it. It was early in spring and there were a lot of trees to choose from. We got one that was healthy and already had buds.

A few weeks later, we went back to buy a second one, her favorite variety (Golden Delicious) and planted it. However, this was later in the spring and there was no longer a good selection to choose from, and we had to guess which of the six dead looking trees might bloom. We did the best we could.

They both have good access to water and sunlight. But the second tree still has no buds, and the trunk doesn't look healthy.

For me this is a symbol of our relationship, one tree standing tall trying to grow, blooming with the season. The other tree, lifeless and gray. Is it struggling to grow or just survive? Is it already dead?

There the two trees rest, taking in the elements and whatever life throws at them. But my tree (a pollinator for the other tree) try as it might, appears to be alone and ineffective. While my wife's tree just looks like it gave up completely.

Happy Friday everybody!

I am sorry. I can hear your frustration.

The work we BS put into reconciliation makes us better, even if it does not fix the marriage. You are growing; it is sad that she is not. But you will grow, and that is all you really control. You choose to grow.

If I were to compare your wife to a fruit tree, I would say she's a lemon tree that's been planted in Maine.

Lemons are your favorite fruit. You think if you try hard enough, you'll have a healthy, productive, fruit-bearing tree. You pick a spot with the perfect sunlight. You give the tree plenty of plant food. You bundle it up with blankets and other insulation during the colder months to protect it from the elements. You lie to yourself and say "Maybe this is the very first Northern variety lemon tree that can grown in Maine!" And, on some sunny days, you might see a flash of green leaf and think there's hope.

But nothing can change the simple fact that lemon trees don't grow in Maine. So you can either wait for the tree to die on its own or send it to Florida where it belongs.

[This message edited by BluerThanBlue at 4:45 PM, Monday, May 12th]

@BluerThanBlue

I get a big kick out of your posts, my man. They’re direct and consistent.

But they also tend to make me want to figure out if I can actually plant a lemon tree in Maine and be successful!

Apparently, after a brief search, it’s actually possible. You just need to take it inside for 3-6 months during the winter.

You have me pegged though, I do tend to make life harder than it needs to be. But in my defense, I really like myself as a person, and I don’t get upset when I see my reflection in a mirror.

I hope that apple tree finds a way to grow. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that.

I get a big kick out of your posts, my man

Bluer than blue is a woman. I always picture her with red hair and green eyes but years ago I learned that I had that wrong!!! I picture her as someone who always looks put together and sharp. You apparently picture her as your man. Lol. I love the internet sometimes.

Ha! I guess I should've figured that out from her footer. My bad.

Thanks for letting me know!

No worries, I am finding weird things humorous today. I have had a very weird and crazy day!!!

[This message edited by hikingout at 9:43 PM, Tuesday, May 13th]