SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

That’s amazing Sisoon!! I lived in Chicago for three years—long enough to know that finding free parking can be hard to do!

..just dropped in for a bit of reading.. skipped to page 38 to read the most recent posts. wow.. there was a lot of good stuff mentioned by our members and their reasons to be thankful. Being old and seeing more and more family and friends die was particularly touching since I'm in that club. (soon to be 78)

As for being thankful, I can say I am on all 7 days of the week. My wife of 52 and a half years has shown both remorse and regret for her choices. I think we will make it 'til death do us part! I continue to enjoy her fantastic cooking and baking...not to mention her enthusiastic love-making

smy

..sorry.. make that page 37...

Good to see you SMY, you were big part of my JFO era. Glad things are going well.

So it’s only Wednesday but I’m thankful.

Almost 3 years ago on discovery the pain I felt was awful. It took 2 and a half years to get myself in a better place. But I’m now in a better place.

So I’m thankful that I didn’t give up on myself. That I found a way through my darkest times.

Now my social circle is a lot bigger. I have people ring and text me all the while. I have met new people and reconnected with old. My husband was a huge priority to me before, maybe a 75% priority now he’s probably 5%. I do nice things for him but I spread my kindness around FAR more people.

I connect everywhere. Chat to everyone. I joined a new group. I have immersed myself in a new topic of interest. I’ve regained my rebellious stance on issues that matter to me

I’m thankful for all of this.

Thanks guys for reminding me that there are loyal, kind, generous people in the world. I wish I could hug you all, drink coffee and chat.

When it was really dark I used to remember some of your screen names and I thought about you (I’ve not shared my pain with anyone else except all you). It brought me comfort.

So Thankyou.

And to anyone reading this who is traumatised and feels it will never end. You will get through it. Light a candle, or listen to a song, or hold a favourite item or smell a favourite scent and remember there are good people out there who are loyal and kind and true. We are rooting for you.

[This message edited by Abcd89 at 2:17 PM, Wednesday, January 29th]

Today I'm thankful that the weather is a little warmer, that most of the snow is melted, and that I can start thinking about my garden plans for the year, even if it’s too early to put them in place.

And ABC, what a beautiful post! Thank you for sharing; it warmed my heart.

HAPPY Thankful Thursday everyone !! It feels GOOD to be back on here...kind of !! One thing about being OLD...you never know what is going to happen with your health. One day you feel fine...and then next you end up in the hospital !! Thankfully my health issue wasn't as bad as was first thought...and I am out and on the mend. It took a little while though. That is another thing about being OLD...you don't heal as quickly as you used to .

During this time...my H ended up in the hospital too ! Oh gosh...what a weird holiday season we had this year...another FIRST for us !!! He is thankfully on the mend as well and we are BOTH so thankful to just be able to spend our healing time TOGETHER!!

I wanted to come on here and put the Thankful Thursday thread back on the first page...I thought that it was probably on the 10th or 11th page by now. But thanks to some of you...it was only on the 2nd page...COOL!!! GRIEVING...you are amazing to resurrect this post . It made my heart SMILE to see it still going on...THANK YOU for that !!

I don't know how much I will be on here...it was a little selfish of me to stay off...sorry! But it just isn't where I am anymore. I vowed I would keep paying it forward though...so I know I NEED to keep coming back and giving newbies on here HOPE that there IS life after infidelity...and it can be very very GOOD !! Your M may not survive...but YOU definitely WILL !!!

For ME...my 1st M didn't survive...and I am so THANKFUL it didn't...because it lead me to my 2nd H . YES...he cheated on me too. But THIS time...he repented...and I gave him mercy...and he took it and never looked back. We worked HARD at our Mv2.0...and for THAT...I am very THANKFUL !!

W2BHA I am so glad that you and your husband are recovering, and I'm sorry I haven't been posting on your thread. It is a good one to keep active! I can't promise to come on Thursdays, but I'll contribute

I am thankful for W2BHA's flagrant use of emojis and for the care that she received.

I am thankful for Starbucks Vanilla Sweet Cream Nitro Cold Brew and all these silly and highly specific ways that our culture provides for people to care for themselves.

I am thankful for swimming on Wednesday mornings with my friend.

I am so thankful for my husband, my family, and this very moment.

Dear W2BHA, I hope that you are doing well down there in cajun country. I will add you to my SI/specific prayer list if you would like (I don't do that unless people agree).

Today I am thankful for: my husband and my children, for God guiding my children even though they do not yet have a personal relationship, for my mother, and the growing closeness with the rest of the family. I am thankful for my pandemic puppy, an unexpectedly good pomegranate, and the image of the woman with nard in Mark 14 that I have been pondering.

Please check in when you get a chance!

W2B, I am only just now seeing your February 27th post—I’m kind of off and on, and I think it might have gotten buried under all those awful spam posts for a little bit.

Anyway, it’s not Thursday, but I’m very grateful for the guidance and kindness you provided me when I was earlier among my recovery and reconciliation journey. You helped me a lot.

I hope you and your husband are both fully recovered from what ailed you and that you are having a nice spring/lenten season.

Dear W2BHA, I hope you are well. I heard something about Cajuns from Acadia and thought of you.

I am grateful for the time spent with my children all together, my husband whispering to me that his life is happier than he could have imagined, an unexpectedly good pomegranate, and a couple of new summer dresses. None of those words capture the fullness of the grateful feeling. I am grateful for all of the healed relationships in my life - without even being intentional, there is healing happening in such unexpected places. I am grateful for my health and I hope I have many more years to live.

I hope you are not checking in as often because you and your husband are off doing whatever it is you love to do, and that you are enjoying your time together now that you are both at home.

I hope this isn't TMI.

We got together when I was 21 and W2b was 20. We decided to marry at 22. I really liked W2b's looks.

One thing that concerned me was how I'd feel at 60 with a 60 year old W. 60 is now well in the past, and I'm grateful and happy to say she still turns me on.

[This message edited by SI Staff at 5:29 PM, Thursday, March 20th]

Hello Thankful Thursday, This is Friday but yesterday (Thursday) I took the day off to get some projects done around the house. My W was in town running errands so I went to Lowe's, when I came out there was a note on my windshield "I love you" with a smiley face. I called my W and told her there is lady in the Lowe's parking lot looking for me. She said "No she's next door at Hobby Lobby". I went into Hobby Lobby and found my W out in the wild. The thing is I had to get out of there, shopping at Hobby Lobby with my W is so frustrating, she looks at everything and tells me how cute everything is. I got my kiss and got the hell out.

That’s so sweet, Tanner. I have a feeling my husband feels the exact same way about going into hobby lobby with me. 😂

I’m thankful for a change of pace next week. This is the time of year that teaching starts to feel super exhausting, and I had a perfect storm of student and colleague behavioral/medical issues today. Everyone is fine and I love them all, but next week Im chaperoning another group of kids (including my own kid) to a state competition for a couple days, and I’m very grateful for some different scenery.

Oh my goodness, today I am grateful for sisoon and his delicacy, on a website where people talk opening about specific sex acts, and I am grateful that he is turned on by his wife

W2BHA, I hope you are well. I am grateful that I am being guided by God to a life full of increasing intimacy, trust, wisdom, and love, and that I can see it spill over to others. I am grateful for the chats we have had about our faith and I am grateful for your ceaseless use of emojis. I am grateful in advance for hearing from you again, that you and your husband are well, and that you are too busy living your lives to visit SI very much.

It's not Thursday, but I would like to express my gratitude to all the staff of SI, as well as everyone else here who tries to help people get through this horrible experience.

It's so valuable to have such a well moderated platform full of people with direct experience in this area to help each other get through this.

Thank you!!!

Hi W2BHA, It's Thankful Thursday (and not Thankful I logged in on a different day ) Today I am especially thankful for my weekly swimming date with a friend, because my back got jolted out of place last week, and the swimming made it feel better. I'm thankful to spend time with one of my kids who is home after college finals, thankful for the time I was able to spend with my mother this week, thankful for the salad place across the street that is the source of my leafy greens (which apparently is good for me . . .) and especially for my husband. We had another peeling back of a layer last week and it was tov. I hope you are well and that you are not here as much because you are having a wonderful time with your husband and family.

Pippin !!!! I was going to say picture me running up and hugging you...knocking you down on your back...but since your back was out of whack a few weeks ago...and I am too OLD to run...we'll just give each other a THANKFUL and gentle HUG !!! It is so GOOD to see you back on here again !!!

I am doing very well...THANK YOU for asking . I am so sorry you had to keep asking over and over again . I SAID I would stay on here and "pay it forward" for others...but I have been being pretty lax about it these last few months. I really need to work on that. This site was such a Godsend for me when I was in a HORRIBLE place and if I could help even one person it will be worth it to stay on here. There is HOPE to not only survive infidelity but to THRIVE despite it...and I am here to spread that TRUTH ! I can't spread it though if I don't get on here!!

Grieving...I certainly understand those emails getting out of hand a little . I miss some myself! My messages are still messed up though...so no one can message me anymore until the MODS can fix it. One day it will be fixed I am sure .

I came on here because this is A season again. Is it my 11th or 12th? I can't remember...and it doesn't matter anymore . I am healed...but I still remember the dates. However...God gave me a friendly reminder this year that put a little twist to things...He's kind of good like that !

Our anniversary came up a little while back, and I realized it was on the same day of the week as the day we got married . Then A season started coming around and I noticed that the dates are on the same day of the week as they were back in 2014 when my H had his A . A few days later it dawned on me that all of their "firsts" were actually OUR "firsts"...our first Mother's Day as a married couple...our first date as a married couple...our first kiss as a married couple...they were all done during the same timeline ! Even better...WE did them FIRST...AND...WE will do them LAST ! Thank You God for giving me that perspective!!!

My Dear family and friends on here...it truly IS all about perspective . One of the things that gutted me was their "firsts". It was important to me that I find out when those "firsts" happened...and then to have US do something memorable so that I could have something POSITIVE to combat the triggers from their "firsts". I was determined that I was going to SMASH every one of those triggers. I REFUSED to be held hostage by them!!!

At the time...if I would have realized that Mother's Day was on the same day as our first Mother's Day...I would have probably felt that it would have been like our first Mother's Day as a married couple was tainted somehow. But NOW...after healing...I see it differently . I can't help but think back and realize how God has revealed these little things to me at different phases of my healing when I was able to handle it better. My H went through a timeline with me...trying to remember in as much detail as he could from ALL of my questioning what happened through all of the 68 days that they were together while he was in her country working on a project. After that...I found out about the google timeline on here. When I plugged in the timeline...I was amazed at how accurate my H was...which built trust in what he had told me. He also told me about how he had placed some ads on Craigslist stating that he was a "happily married man looking for NSA sex while working in that country". Of course...he had deleted all of those ads...so I had no proof about that. BUT...then I found out on here that Craigslist actually keeps an account of all of the ads that are placed. When I followed the instructions on how to get to them...voila...there were the ads...and sure enough...he stated he was a happily married man looking for NSA sex .

There are many other little things like this that God revealed to me during my different phases of healing. NONE of them stopped the fact that my H had an A . But they did show that my H was trying to be honest and sincere in helping me to heal from this infidelity HELL he put me in. That meant something .

NOTHING my H will ever do can make up for the betrayal. NOTHING. But I had a decision to make. I could leave him and be on my own...or find someone else. Or I could stay with him and start our new Mv2.0. I chose Mv2.0 . I have never regretted that decision! My H also knows that there is nothing he can do to make up for his betrayal...but that doesn't stop him from trying . He told me a long time ago that he is making it his life mission to give me my "happily ever after"...and Thank God he is doing just that .

So...YES...this is A season. But it is also the decades long anniversary of OUR "first" season as a married couple!! I LIKE that perspective so much better !!! What a THANKFUL perspective this is...Thank You God for another reminder !!!

LIFE changes. Sometimes for the good...sometimes not. In these last 11 years we have lost all of our parents . We have also welcomed more grandchildren ! Some of our children have gotten divorced...and some have gotten married/remarried. One thing that has definitely gotten stronger though is our BOND . I will NEVER say that the A made our M better. The A destroyed our precious M . But WE had to decide what we were going to do...and Thank God we chose to include Him in our M . Once we chose THIS path...everything got BETTER . EVERYTHING.

Thanks for the update Cuz glad to see you back, don’t be a stranger 🤣

I am also approaching A season and thanks to you and your help here I should be better than the year before. The triggers at this point are opportunities to retrain the lizard brain.